September 27
Scripture focus: "Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets." Luke 6:26 (NIV)
Paul isn't the only one to teach us about the nature of boundaries. In Luke 6, Jesus warns us that effectively using boundaries and living within limits won't always earn us a ticker tape parade. People don't always accept our "nos" graciously, even if our "no" is an apt reply.
Some people resent any kind of difference of opinion. Others hate limits.
We must keep our eye on the ball -- getting other people to like us isn't the same thing as making good friends. If someone you know and hope to love demands compliance and agreement from you on every point -- is that really a friendship or are you simply a convenient door mat for their dirty feet?
If we can free ourselves from the chronic need for approval, we will eventually learn who our true friends are as we set limits. When we set limits, some people will drop us like a hot potato. Others will attack us and call us names. But what have we really lost?
Better to learn who our real friends are by living in a way that is in keeping with healthy principles than to sacrifice our health for someone who has no intention of returning the favor.
Recommended reading: Job 7 - 10
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1 comment:
Very recovery related topic T and imo one of the more important ones.
Do we have the need to be liked by everyone? Do we go to any length to mold ourselves to be liked by all? Do we people please to gain acceptance, you'll know trying to be everything to everyone wearing ourselves to a nub in the process not taking care of ourselves, such as being constantly exhausted from all the effort. Always harried from one task to another? Do we tie expectations to our efforts?
I have learned through many years of this process that I will not be liked by everyone nor will I like everyone. I pretty much as I am capable of love most as children of God but in many cases might not personnaly get friendship close to even some that I have sponsored. ON the other side of the equation some that I have sponsored are the most trusted and personnaly love people in my life but it has happened naturally without force fitting. Obsession leads to force fitting compulsion to satify an impaired need and in my esperience it leads to a using type relationship. So I have found that having a few close and personal friends is so much more fulfilling than trying to be liked by all. Boundarys help me determine who to let into my life. I have physical boundarys that determine who I let into my personal space (arm length), verbal boundarys incoming and outgoing that protect others from me and me from others, visual boundarys the first look is on God the second is on me emotional boundarys. All of the above have had a tremendous impact on developing a healthy life style.
All of my boudarys protect me from others and others from me and have facilitated a more living within Gods pegs type lifestyle.
Oh yeah and all of these were developed with the help of others not by myself. Key point!
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