September 2
Scripture focus: It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows. For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out--in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom be then? Galatians 5:13-15 (The Message)
Although the meeting room was filled with stories about how people had loved without limits and ended up in a support group as a consequence, on this particular night no one seemed to be in a learning mood. The topic was boundaries; the resistance was fierce.
"Who can I complain to about this meeting?" the newcomer asked with vehemence. "I can't believe this kind of thing is allowed to go on in a church! What do you mean we should be taking care of ourselves, and not getting too hungry, angry, lonely or tired (H.A.L.T.)? I am a Christian -- I lay my life down for my friends. It's what God said to do, and I do it!" Of course, scripture does indeed say that very thing.
After the meeting ended, a couple of women invited our new and angry friend out for coffee. They had a lovely time offering up their personal experiences with learning how to responsibly love others while also being responsible for themselves. This little bit of extra time helped this woman tremendously. It was a fine example of doing just what that lady said Christians should do -- they laid down their lives for her.
But the reason that they could choose freely to offer up their time to her was because they had learned how to use boundaries appropriately. They had acquired the skills that enabled them to balance the tos and fors of life without losing perspective or loving outside the limits of how God says healthy people love one another. Without loving others, we might become super selfish with too thick boundaries. Giving to others all willy nilly without appropriate boundaries might leave us freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional -- the exact condition that the newcomer displayed in her first meeting.
Fortunately for her, this experienced support group knew the signs -- and had personal experience with living a boundary-less life -- so they were able to patiently and gently offer this battered woman a reprieve from her own personal storm.
Drs. Cloud and Townsend say that "[a] strong strand throughout the Bible stresses that you are to give to needs and put limits on sin. Boundaries help you do just that." Whether the sin is selfishness or limitless loving that hurts more than helps, learning how to love responsibly is a God thing.
Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 1 - 3
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