September 9
Scripture focus: Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults--unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. Matthew 7:1-5 (The Message)
One of the issues I have with both confession and living a healthily "boundaried" life is my tendency to minimize, rationalize and deny my own wrongdoing. I'm not all that great at self-reflection -- especially if the expectation is that I will have an accurate picture of myself as I reflect.
Along the recovery way, I've discovered some "clues" that help me by-pass my well-honed defense mechanisms. Can you relate of any of these?
When I am in need of confession or a boundary adjustment, a bad attitude is one of my first clues that I'm in trouble. Boundary-less, unconfessed living creates discomfort, and when I'm uncomfortable but unwilling to acknowledge the truth of this state of dis-ease, I begin to:
- Pick on others
- Criticize and highlight the faults of others
- Develop an attitude of critiquing and criticizing others (rather than working my own program)
- Become oblivious to my own ugly sneer
- Begin playing a part rather than living my life
In addition, this kind of behavior is also extremely disrespectful. I'm responsible for my own confessing and repenting. I am responsible to people in my "hut" -- to respect them. This doesn't require that I agree with them on every point. But I can treat them with respect.
Even on a day when I'm in need of a personal attitude adjustment, I can avoid harming others by living within the boundary of respecting others.
Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 24-26
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1 comment:
I wasn't sure of this, but had my suspicions. I thought that I was helping someone be a better person, but the way I went about it, probably appeared to be judgmental to the person. And you know what? It was. Until I learn how to help without judging I will not offer my opinion on anything, unless the person really wants to hear what I have to say. I have to be able to discern whether a person really wants my help or not. I have to listen to more than their words and that only comes by experiencing the person.
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