September 3
Scripture focus: Let angry people endure the backlash of their own anger; if you try to make it better, you'll only make it worse. Proverbs 19:19 (The Message)
Yesterday's devotional introduced us to a woman who had mistaken laying her life down (serving others) for boundary-less codependency (taking responsibility for others to the detriment of being responsible for carrying her own load) and came out badly wounded. In an effort to love her son, she had spent years shielding him from the consequences of his own choices (so he never learned the principle that we reap what we sow) and eventually he hurt her deeply by doing unto his mother what he had done to others for years. He hit her. Hard. A bunch of times.
How much better it would have been if Junior had learned in preschool that harming others has severe consequences! Instead, he felt the full effects of the law when his violence resulted in a trip to the emergency room for his mother and him being charged with assault and battery.
Junior had often displayed a nasty temper as a young boy but mom made one excuse after another for his impulsive violent outbursts. By the time he entered middle school people avoided him like the plague. He became not only angry, but isolated. Of course, with his mother running around blaming others and excusing him -- he was robbed of the opportunity to learn that it was his behavior that was determining his relationship outcomes.
This mother thought she was protecting her boy, but what she really did was shield him from learning valuable life lessons that would have helped him learn how to live and love in community.
Another principle of boundaries -- it is loving to allow people to accept responsibility for their sowing.
Recommended reading: 2 Chronicles 5-7
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