December 22

Scripture focus: Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place. Psalm 51:6

Continuing the discussion on secrets…

Secret keeping is like stealing.

When we keep secrets, we rob others of the opportunity to show us how much they love us. After Pete realized how much I weighed prior to the birth of our son (who was born weighing 40 pounds…I wish!), I cannot recall a time when the subject was ever mentioned.

We go to parties, and he never regales the guests with, "Can you believe how much Teresa weighed when she was pregnant with Michael?"

He never, ever asked me why it was taking me longer to lose my baby fat than it took Michael to shed his!

The truth about secret telling is that as you share, you learn who your true friends are. You figure out who loves you. This will be important information as you build community and decide who to trust with your secrets.

May you build a community that can be trusted with even your darkest truths.

Recommended reading: Ezekiel 20 - 26

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3 comments:

Vacation Dude said...

"The truth about secret telling is that as you share, you learn who your true friends are. You figure out who loves you. This will be important information as you build community and decide who to trust with your secrets."

I start with small truths as we need to be careful who we open ourselves up to. Recently I opened myself up to a vetting process and am so greatful for the work I have done over the past five years. At one time not so long ago I would have thrown a paper weight through the window of the office on my way out. Today I realize I probably was not sharing with a safe person so was able to go forward with a level of peace as I have some understanding of safe and not safe. First time is shame on you second time is shame on me so with that in mind I will set a boundary on how I engage with the other party (s).


Another most important lesson is trust is earned not assumed.

Assume nothing here, as many that we might share with have titles that could imply safe person.

"Person" is the key word here as they are human and still need to earn our trust.

In one of the nsc facilitated groups the author takes a few pages teaching counsoling what a safe person is like. He uses examples of common statements, actions and replies of others to demonstrate what a safe person might look like and how it should feel. Not to be taken lightly.

So I look forward to the upcoming lesson and will be paying close attention.

Merry Christmas All.
Chip

December 22, 2009 at 6:43 PM
Anonymous said...

I'm afraid to reveal my secret because I've already been. asked about it and lied to the person. Deep down I hope the person realized my lie & would be kind enough to confront & help me get out of the mess I've gotten myself in yet again.

December 22, 2009 at 7:24 PM
I Might be Wrong said...

I have found myself in this place before. For me the person that ask me the hard questions that I want to lie about are the ones most willing to help me. I have made the choice to lie and felt much the same way that you are now. I too have said to myself"I hope the person realized my lie & would be kind enough to confront & help me get out of the mess I've gotten myself in yet again." I found a lot of time passes while I waited for others to figure out my unspoken truths. Often the help I received was not the help I needed. Today I know that it is my resposibility to go to the person I lied to and confess my lie and ask for their help. To ask someone for implies their is a trust to hope that a certain person helps implies a level of trust. I agree with Vacation Dude, find your safe folks and start sharing who you are.
God Bless

December 22, 2009 at 9:09 PM

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