Day 127 - Risky Business: Running with stakes
Scripture focus: Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 Contemporary English Version
"I feel like I'm being asked to choose between the two people I love most in this world!" And if we fail to pause to prepare, many would agree with this father of a young addict, whose wife had enough of the drama and left them both.
"I'm done." His wife, Cathy, and the mother of this wayward child announces in the presence of a "neutral" third party. What her husband hears is, "I'm abandoning you and our son at your time of greatest need." He feels as if she is withdrawing her support, loyalty, hope, and trust. He misunderstands - but we can empathize with his viewpoint.
She's not "done" because she's cold-hearted, self-centered, or neglectful. She's not "done" because she no longer loves her husband and has flown into the comforting arms of another. She's "done" with lousy love. And when her husband continues to stubbornly resist looking for solutions to their family's very serious problem, she must make some tough choices. Eventually, after months of counseling, education, prayer, and pausing - she moves out of the family home and into a small apartment with sturdy locks. This is her perspective.
Her best friend is appalled by her decision. Her mother calls her brave. Her pastor believes that this decision seems intuitively wrong, but he readily admits he doesn't know the next right step to recommend to this hurting family. Everyone seems to have an opinion when it comes to the ways of love.
Listening to the story, I am amazed at the varied approaches people take when dealing with suffering. I've heard too many stories and seen too many surprising outcomes to judge another for their choices. I do, however, appreciate the lengths this woman has gone to as she paused to prepare. There are no easy steps and cookie cutter solutions when it comes to family problems. Unfortunately, without steps and cookie cutters, many of us unwittingly make it up as we go - and end up stabbing the ones we love in the heart with a sharp stake.
"Life can be like a stake through the heart." Soul Cravings, Erwin McManus, entry 4, Meaning.
As we continue with our devotional study this week, I'd ask that we all join together in asking God to give us all new ways of understanding old issues. McManus is right - "Life can be like a stake through the heart." And we don't need to contribute to the carnage by running through life all willy nilly, carrying stakes.
Lord, may we become a people who are better at deciphering what it means to be supportive, loyal, hopeful, trusting and successful at love.
Recommended reading: Ruth 3 and 4 in the morning; John 4 and 5 in the evening
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