Day 145 - Trusting in the right stuff
Scripture focus: A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty. Job 6:14 NIV
I love adolescents - they're so adolescent. They say things that are shocking and dare adults to rise to the challenge. They toggle between the desire to please and the need to be against. They're mercurial and edgy. Befriending an adolescent is a lot like taking a bath with plugged in electrical appliances hovering overhead.
The teen years are extremely stressful. There's plenty to despair over. I've been bugging my son and his friends to get prom dates. I'm continuing my one woman campaign that no nice gal should be left behind on prom night. My son completely ignores my nagging. His friend, however, listened to me - and invited a young lady to prom. He showed up with flowers and asked in person. He didn't call, text or instant message. He was a gentleman. And that very nice young lady rejected his invitation. The rumor mill has it that she'd be willing to let him take her to dinner and the after prom party - but she doesn't like proms. It's enough to give a mother a migraine! No one likes proms - doesn't this girl get it? Proms are all about enduring, not enjoying! Proms are rites of passages - and I personally think a so-so prom experience will always be better than the feeling of sitting at home with your parents watching tv while all your friends get dressed up in cool outfits and complain conspiratorily on Monday about how guys are goofs.
Teens despair over grades, sports, young love, parents, stress, peers and finances. They despair over speeding tickets and dui charges. They despair over adults continually asking them what they want to be when they grow up - while they're more focused on squeezing time in to play Grand Theft Auto (a terrible game).
In the midst of all this despair, adolescents respond much like adults. They question and re-examine their beliefs. Despair challenges our preconceived notions. Faithful people sometimes find their faith in doubt - anger, fear, unbelief - these are normal (and uncomfortable) reactions to despair. Friends and family squirm uneasily in the face of despair and doubt. In our discomfort, we unwittingly love lousily.
If we have a friend in despair, here are a few things we can do to love them well:
Accept the friend and release self from the responsibility to respond to their questions with pat answers. (Remember, God does not need us to defend him.)
Hear the pain without judging the content of the conversation. People don't always say what they truly mean or mean what they're saying. Minimizing or discounting the pain of another is counter-productive.
Trust in the right stuff. We don't need our friends to behave perfectly. Again, God can handle the big emotions that often pop out when we're under stress. Keep calm and remind yourself that you weren't given the job of keeping others on an even keel.
Hold the hope - without feeling the need to share your assignment. Suffering people need friends who can see beyond the despair to the healing that may come in the future. Prayerful hoping is a good thing.
Stick like glue. Freaked out, insecure, neurotic and emotional (F.I.N.E.) people won't remember your words of wisdom but they will relish in the reality that in their time of trouble, a good friend stuck like glue.
The devotion of good friends during hard times is a God thing. Few have the heart for the task. My prayer is that we will learn how to be the one with enough faith to trust in the right stuff - and in the trusting, morph into a true friend.
Recommended reading: 2 Samuel 3 and 4 in the morning; John 13 and Psalm 119 in the evening
No comments:
Post a Comment