Day 129 - We've Got What It Takes!
Scripture focus: Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 Contemporary English Version
My friend, Frank, was distraught over his wife, Cathy's, departure - leaving him at home with a drug addicted son. He wonders how a loving wife can leave at a time like this. Once upon a time, this family felt pretty lucky at love. They lived and loved within a faith-based community, had a nice home, good friends, and a precocious, active son. Both Cathy and Frank describe the early years of their family life as "idyllic". All that changed when their son headed off to high school. Schoolwork was a challenge - but doable. Sports were the saving grace for Frankie Jr. - a fun release after tough days at school, trying to perform up to standard. When he didn't make his high school baseball team, he was devastated. His parents report that it was this blow that took all the wind out of his sails, and he "gave up". His grades plummeted and soon their charming boy morphed into a troubled young man. They wasted a couple years blaming a coach and the school system. In fairness to them, they had no idea that drinking and drug experimentation had begun in middle school. Eager to love and reluctant to admit that substance abuse attributed to the gradual downward spiral, they closed ranks and tried to solve the "issue" on their own. They felt increasingly isolated and out-of-touch. They didn't want anyone to "label" their boy. Shame was the motivational fuel that drove most of their decisions to hide, cover up, deny and enable Frankie to continue his downward plunge without input or assistance from outside sources. Eventually, the problems escalated to the point where legal entanglements, school expulsions, and the rumor mill made it impossible to deny the gravity of the situation. This, however, did not stop dad from ignoring the red warning flags waving on every side. Frustrated and fearful, mom began attending support groups and counseling. No one else in the family felt the need to take such a "drastic" approach. Each incident increased the father's rage and his threats elicited compliance on the son's part - for awhile. During the compliance phase hopes would rise, and a flush of success would fuel the father's perspective - "All this boy needs is discipline and accountability."
"Teacher, which command in God's Law is the most important?"
Jesus said, " 'Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.' This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: 'Love others as well as you love yourself.' These two commands are pegs; everything in God's Law and the Prophets hangs from them." Matthew 22:36-40 The Message
In the love department, these pegs are the first command - love God with all your passion, prayer and intelligence paired with the second command - love others. Respecting ourselves, loving God, loving others - balancing all three in a reasonable way provides us with principles that help us make difficult calls when it comes to love. Although we'd all prefer easy steps and cookie cutter solutions - honestly folks, we don't need them. Let me repeat this for emphasis: WE DON'T NEED THEM! We have what we need - a God who rescues those who cry out to Him for help. When we trust God to rescue, we step as He speaks. If we learn how to practice the principle of living within the pegs, we will have what it takes to enter into the risky business of loving like God. This family "loved" outside the pegs - coloring messily beyond the limiting lines of God's perspective on healthy love. What most would interpret as passionate love was stress-induced panic. Poor choices were made in the love department by all involved in the Bermuda Triangle of family troubles - addiction, love confusion and pain mismanagement. How have your love choices been working for you?
Recommended reading: 1 Samuel 3 and 4 in the morning; Psalm 106 in the evening
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