NorthStar Community Daily Devotional

Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World Day 130 - Anger and denial love to hang out together Scripture focus: Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 Contemporary English Version Cathy spoke with conviction and calmness. No longer frantic for a quick fix, she was able to focus on her part of the story without blaming, shaming or condemnation. She shared with Frank that in her recovery community, she learned about healthy versus unhealthy family systems. She told Frank that although she once believed they had a healthy family with a son who made bad choices, she had come to understand that her son's addiction was more a symptom than a root problem. In fact, she said, each of them had developed some maladaptive coping mechanisms to deal with Frankie's issues that seriously violated their core family value - learning to love like God. And then she said something that really got Frank thinking. "Frank, I think you and I got our passions all confused. Once that happened, we no longer saw much need to pray. For sure, we haven't been acting with much intelligence - we're living like people on crazy pills!" Although Frank thinks that Frankie's drug use and Cathy's new apartment are crazy - he does have to admit that he does indeed, feel like a man on crazy pills. 'Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence. Love others as well as you love yourself.' Frank said he didn't understand. He asks for an example. "Ok, fair enough. We always said we raised our son in a Christian home, with Christian values. We talked about unconditional love and forgiveness, accountability, speaking the truth, and honesty. But once Frankie started acting up, we abandoned all of that. Remember how mad we were at the baseball coach? We stormed up to school and told him what a jerk he was for not picking our son. Do you remember what he said? He was polite and concerned. He told us that Frankie was a good ball player but that he ultimately made the decision that he wasn't a good team player. He said that Frankie had displayed some behaviors on and off the field that he thought would be a distraction. We didn't even ask a follow up question! You stood up, shook your finger at him, called him a few choice words and stormed out. Leaving me to apologize for your outburst and trail out behind you. That coach had information that would have been helpful to us. We may have learned some things, seen some potential problems, been able to take some action - none of which we did, because we were so busy blaming the coach. " Sometimes when we receive information that is potentially helpful but definitely painful - we respond in anger. Each member of this family is angry about something(s) or someone(s). How about you? Do you feel like you've been living with a short fuse that's halfway lit? Sometimes that's a clue that we're working hard to avoid potentially helpful but definitely painful truths. Frank feels angry and defensive, but he's also lonely. He bites his tongue and begs her to continue. And so shall we in next week's devotional study, when we unpack the principles of love that Cathy thinks might possibly save this family. Recommended reading: 1 Samuel 5 and 6 in the morning; John 7 in the evening