Day 131 - Warning! Peg violation!
Scripture focus: Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:7-8 Contemporary English Version
Do Frank and Cathy have a "values" conflict? Or is this an implementation issue? If both share the same faith experience, why are they struggling? Interpretation - both interpret "love" and it's expression differently.
"Cathy, I just don't get you. Don't think I have ignored you - I've heard you talk about love being supportive - not enabling. But I don't understand what you're talking about woman!"
"Frank, can I use the baseball example to try to explain it?"
"I guess. But don't expect me to get it!" (Oh, don't worry Frank, she's not spending this time with you expecting change. She's stepping as God speaks.)
" 'Love is always supportive.' " you and I both agree that God wants us to express our love by supporting others, right?"
"Of course! I just don't happen to think YOU'RE being very support!"
Cathy ignores this dig and proceeds. "Well, this word 'supportive' is actually a Greek word that also can be used to describe a thatched roof covering - intended to protect those inside from harsh outside weather. You decided that yelling at the coach was supporting our son. But I happen to believe that how we express our support for others must be lived within the pegs of loving God, others and self. Loving others requires that we treat them with respect. Whether or not we agreed with the coach, we had an obligation as desperately devoted followers of Christ to show respect for this coach. But you treated him with great disrespect - all under the guise of supporting Frankie. I messed up too. When I immediately made excuses for your rude behavior, accepting the responsibility of apologizing for this behavior myself - I lived outside the pegs too. My responsibility as your wife and best friend would have been to support your right to be a goof, and create an environment where you would be most likely to have time to think about what went wrong in the coach's office. I should have turned to the coach and stated that we were very upset, and perhaps a further conversation would be more productive in a few days. Then, I think when we got home and calmed down, I should have asked if I could provide you some feedback. You, Frank, should want feedback from me! I don't offer it often and when I do, I think it's usually pretty decent feedback without a lot of drama. If you had agreed, and I had known the information to share, we could have talked about how we could be supportive AND love God, others and self. You might have made some different choices; but even if you hadn't, it was disrespectful of me to doubt your decision-making ability, and rush in and try to cover over your rudeness with some silly excuse and apology."
"What I'm trying to say here, Frank, is I think we've been enabling parents, not supportive ones. And I've been guilty of being an enabling wife too."
Frank fully expected Cathy to blast him; instead, she sounded like she was saying both had some blame in the game. So with uncharacteristic generosity, he says, "Yeah, I guess you're right. This is your fault." It's a blessing Cathy has allowed God to strengthen her, so she can take Frank's comment with a grain of salt and press on.
Recommended reading: 1 Samuel 7 and 8 in the morning; 1 Samuel 9 and 10 in the evening
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