NorthStar Community Daily Devotional

Having Heart In A Sometimes Heartless World Day 138 - Shallow Spirituality Scripture focus: If only my anguish could be weighed and all my misery be placed on the scales! It would surely outweigh the sand of the seas - no wonder my words have been impetuous. Job 6:2-3 NIV Many years ago, dear friends were headed to the mission field. The consensus among the group left behind was mixed about their decision. One of our friends said, "Well, anybody willing to go to such lengths for God is guaranteed safety. God will certainly protect them if they're willing to make this decision!" And God did that very thing. But I wasn't so comfortable with drawing the conclusion that God owed them safety. Do you ever think that God owes us certain rewards if we believe in him? If so, do you know what those rewards are? I have a friend who thought God would protect her marriage - and she's going through a divorce. Now she wonders if there is a God. I'm still not comfortable assuming that belief and blessing live within the confines of my own limited understanding. "I'm sorry you feel this way," Cathy said to Frank through her tears. "But something has to change; our way isn't working. You refuse to change. Our son appears to be incapable of change. I have to move toward a solution. I want to tell you how I've processed through our issues, and why I'm leaving. I'm not asking for you to agree; I'm not inviting you to give me feedback. My only objective here is to share my thoughts with you. I hope that over time, this will make sense to you. I'm trying to live my life within the pegs that God has set before me." "Pegs? What the heck are you talking about? God hates divorce! God wants us to love our children! Are you trying to blame this crazy decision of yours on God?" (Frank doesn't know it, but he believes that God owes him a wife. He believes that God hates divorce, and therefore, divorce shouldn't darken his door. It hasn't occurred yet to Frank that a marriage is a treasured gift - one that requires nurturing. God's desire for us to not suffer the pain of divorce is not a shield behind which married folk can huddle and hope for the best.) "No, Frank. I'm finished with blaming others, even God. I'm trying to step as God speaks. And God has told us to love him, love others, and love ourselves. I haven't done a decent job of that in years. I'm trying to find my way back to him, and I hope that eventually leads me back to you. I want our family restored. But I can't pretend any longer that what we're doing is restorative. We're coming apart at the seams. Something has got to change. I love you. But we have violated God's principles of loving, and although I can't compel you to change, I believe I have a responsibility to live my life differently. I want to ask you to listen to me. I want to try to explain my rationale to you. If you don't want to listen, that's ok. I'll respect your decision. But unless you listen to me, I see no reason to continue this pattern of you screaming at me. So what's it going to be - listen, or I'll leave and we can have this conversation at a later date." Frank chooses wisely; he sits down and shuts up. For the first time in a long, long time, Frank listens. Slowly, calmly, his wife begins to share with Frank the meaning of the words she learned in group, and the parameters of those pegs she's trying to ski within. Frank and Cathy are experiencing anguish but in some very profound ways, their anguish is inviting them to an encounter with a loving, merciful God who they have worshipped for years without really loving. That's about to change. You and I may fear that anguish is punishment for sin. We may get confused because we think we've been good Christians and anguish should be showing up at someone else's house. I pray that we can set aside our preconceived notions about the reason for anguish, and instead, invite God into the mix of our suffering. Recommended reading: 1 Samuel 18 and 19 in the morning; Psalm 112 in the evening